Editor’s Note: This story is one of a series of stories written by The Daily Mississippian staff in celebration of April Fool’s day. 

Many football fans know of Juice Kiffin, the dog of Head Coach Lane Kiffin. He is a beloved member of the Ole Miss Football team and the Oxford-university community, and he has even become an unofficial mascot of the team. His role on the team supersedes that of a simple figurehead.

This is exactly why Ole Miss fans were shocked when Juice announced that he is entering the transfer portal earlier this month.

Juice came up with the idea in the lead up to the Peach Bowl, when Ole Miss Head Coach Lane Kiffin tweeted a picture of himself and his son Knox Kiffin in Atlanta without Juice. Juice took to X, formerly known as Twitter, to voice his frustrations.

“Dad, why am I not there with my brother?” Juice said.

Tensions spilled over this year, ultimately leading Juice to make his program-changing announcement and hop into the portal.

The news of Juice’s decision was first reported by @OM_Recruiting38 on X, when Juice was noticed missing from the travel squad. Juice is a five-star tee grabber and is very young at only two years old (in human years). Juice’s potential teams include Alabama, LSU and Florida State.

The Ole Miss Rebels currently have no replacement for Juice and will more than likely have to turn to a walk-on for his position; the all-SEC and All-American tee grabber’s presence will almost certainly be irreplaceable.

One possible replacement is Gin Kiffin — Juice’s sibling — who stands the best chance at filling his brother’s (dog) shoes.

After the news broke, Juice took to the media to deliver a highly irritated presser.

“Bark, bark, ruff, ruff, bark…SQUIRREL,” the pup said.

Juice leapt from the podium in the middle of the interview and declined to comment afterward. He seemed very happy to be leaving the team. Juice has had enough of the Rebels, according to his agent Rich Paul, who also represents LeBron James.

Gin Kiffin declined to comment on Juice’s transfer, although he seemed upset by it. His older brother was a mentor to him and reportedly took him under his wing to be a fitting replacement. Gin’s ascendancy is up in the air, though, as the team is also considering potential suitors such as Uga XI from Georgia or Dubs from Washington.

It is unclear who Juice’s replacement will be — his absence leaves a gaping hole. No one knows where exactly the five-star recruit will end up. Needless to say, it will be a tough few months for the Rebels.