Editor’s Note: This story is one of a series of stories written by The Daily Mississippian staff in celebration of April Fool’s day.
After careful consideration, the city of Oxford has made the decision to transform Oxford’s famed downtown, the Square, into “the Triangle.” Adored by students, locals and visitors, the Square is an Oxford staple, with hundreds of daily visitors. Unfortunately, many have also complained about the area’s infrastructure, claiming that its square shape is not driver-friendly.
“I’m not a big fan of squares,” freshman Jimmy Johns, a dietetics and nutrition major, said. “They kind of make me nervous. The roads are too confusing for me to drive. Do I turn this way? Do I turn that way? Mad confusing.”
Senior Brittney Angle, a music major, echoed the same sentiments.
“I literally get lost every time I go into the Square,” Angle said. “I hate it so much. The roundabouts are already horrible, and now I have to deal with this too.”
The complaints have encouraged the city of Oxford to rebrand the local attraction to accommodate its residents. The city released a survey to suggest the next shape, choosing the highest-voted shape as the winner. The triangle won, garnering 45% of the total vote.
“It’s the perfect shape,” one of the responses to the survey said. “These kids here can’t drive too well, and I don’t want them crashing around when I’m trying to watch football. Less shapes, less crashes.”
Other responses voiced the same support.
“It just sounds the best,” one response said. “If I’m taking a girl out to dinner, and I tell her, ‘date at the Triangle?’ She’s falling in love with me, easily.”
Other shapes were also taken into consideration, such as the circle and rectangle.
“The rectangle is perfect,” an anonymous respondent said. “Every time I leave the bar, there’s an officer at the corner trying to arrest me for public intoxication. The rectangle creates more distance than a square. Think about it.”
