I have so much pride in my home state — Mississippi. Being from the Magnolia State is often the first fun fact I offer about myself, and it is my favorite place I’ve ever been.
I like to think I am special in this regard. Instead of moving away from my home state — attempting to roughen the sounds of my syllables and adopt winter coats instead of flip flops — I have embraced every leaf, flower and crooked branch of my state, going so far as to enroll in our flagship university.
Despite this, the University of Mississippi wasn’t my first, nor my second choice for furthering my education. For all the reasons students leave the state, I, too, had every excuse in the book. It felt like “selling out” by going to my state school, like I was finally admitting to a failure of sorts or ignoring the possibilities of life outside my home state.
However, the second I set foot onto campus, I began to doubt these beliefs. I could see myself here. Things I never knew I wanted were in Oxford: academic opportunities through the Sally McDonnell Barksdale Honors College, a range of extracurricular activities, a diverse and social student body and a southern studies department that dives into Oxford history that seemingly never ends.
It took me a second, and it might take other students even longer, to understand the value the university can bring. There are doubts about going to a public university, especially one like UM. There is the question of academic strength or the “party school” reputation.
My turning point was the realization that all my failures at UM would be mine and mine alone. The same can be said about my success.
For me, going to any other university meant that I would be looking for excuses in all my shortcomings.
I have always felt that at a wealthy, private university, opportunities on campus may factor in income level. At UM, however, the socioeconomic diversity of the student body is much greater.
I feel that I am set on equal ground as I begin the next four years.
I am excited to be two hours away from my parents, to potentially take a class on beekeeping, to meet a student from Wyoming and to complain about BISC 160 exams with my lab partner.
I will admit I am equally excited and fearful at the idea of my future lab partner being my buddy from 10th grade. If you are from Mississippi, classmates and college counselors warn you that it will feel like the 13th grade.
Out of the 66 people in my graduating class, one in six are going to UM. The majority are in the honors college, the same scholarship programs or similar major tracks.
I am afraid I am going to detach from my high school friends and lose the relationships I’ve built. I am deathly afraid I will make no friends my freshman year and resort to following my far-more-socially-competent roommate around like a puppy on a leash, then subsequently lose her as a friend.
They will be out partying within the first week of school, and I may not be with them, instead tied to a post like some annoying dog — officially marking my first heartbreaking case of college FOMO.
Aside from my mind-numbing fear, I am excited to go through the sorority recruitment process, join the Associated Student Body (shoutout to the community service and philanthropy board) and watch the LSU Tigers get sacked in Vaught-Hemmingway this September.
I am riddled with fear and a healthy dose of anxiety, but what eases my heart is the only piece of advice I have taken seriously thus far — control what you can control.
Whether you decide you made the right college choice or think about transferring your sophomore year, do not let yourself believe you are incapable of success. You are meant to build your legacy.
Pegah Vasighi-Ansarifar is a freshman public health and Southern studies major from Madison, Miss.
