I mean, what else do we need to stay? We need no introduction. The picks speak for us. We turned up on y’all with the backups last week, but now we’re back and better than ever with a grip on the ins and outs of week 10 of collegiate American football tighter than that Ben Simmons STF maneuver on Karl-Anthony Towns. Turn on “Say It Right” by Nelly Furtado if you want to feel the vibe while you read this.
Virginia Tech at No. 16 Notre Dame (-17.5) O/U 58
Joshua: Don’t watch this game. Go finish a puzzle or watch the grass grow. Who cares? The Irish are done, and why would anyone watch a team named ‘the Hokies’ unless a quarterback named Vick is taking snaps? You must be out of your mind. Hokies cover.
Maddy: Virginia Tech’s mascot is really called the Hokie. Why? Is Virginia Tech’s signature dance the “Hokie” Pokey? I’m sorry, I’ll leave now. Fighting Irish, please beat them.
Erin: I’m of Irish descent, and one day I hope to marry a nice, bearded Irish prince and live on the countryside with an Australian shepherd running in fields of clover and wildflowers with an ice cold Guinness in hand. In saying that, I still don’t like Notre Dame. Also, my best friend’s parents went to Virginia Tech. Go Hokies, I guess.
No. 8 Georgia at No. 6 Florida (+6.5) O/U 44.5
Joshua: They’re really counting the Gators out by a touchdown? Kyle Trask and the boys are in the swamp and I don’t trust the Bulldogs to go there and win. Florida wins the ball game. Shout out Mr. Two Bits.
Maddy: You know, Florida as a state always has something bad going for them, but it’s refreshing to see good news regarding the peninsula. No. 6? That’s a heck of a flex. Nicely done. I’m sure Georgia is great, but I’m kinda rooting for the Gators to take down the Bulldogs.
Erin: I’ve long been harboring a secret fear of dogs. Alligator, alligator, eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up. Gators cover.
No. 9 Utah at Washington (+3.5) O/U 48
Joshua: Name a more random perennial top-25 team. I’m not a West Coast football type of man, but I like the Utes’ gusto.
Maddy: I didn’t even realize that Utah had a good football team. Whoops. Good for them! Now that I know they exist and since they seem to be thriving in the top 10, I’m rooting for them. Go Utes!
Erin: I can definitely, 100% no-question-about-it guarantee you that I couldn’t care less who wins this game.
No. 15 SMU at No. 24 Memphis. (-6.0) O/U 72
Joshua: Memphis. Memphis. Memphis. Nothing but Memphis, Tennessee. The most beautiful land in the world. And they got College Gameday to pull up. No bottle service for the Mustangs this weekend.
Maddy: Well, I have no idea who, what or where SMU is. That’s tough. Memphis for the win.
Erin: Confession time: I had to Google what SMU stood for. I guessed Southern Michigan, but that wasn’t correct. Also, Memphis is ranked? I’m learning so many things. My ex-boyfriend is from Memphis, so for this one, we are going with SMU.
Ole Miss at No. 11 Auburn (-19.5) O/U 53
Joshua: I have serious doubts that I’d have the confidence to look Derrick Brown or Marlon Davidson in the eyes, so why would I bet against the Eagle Tigers? The boys are real. Bo Nix and the Tigers use this game as a nice get-right game before the Georgia Bulldogs roll into Auburn in two weeks.
Maddy: Am I an Ole Miss fan? Yes. Do I want Ole Miss to win? Also yes. But am I realistic? You guessed it: yes I am. Unfortunately for us, Auburn will most likely win the game. Fortunately for us, we will win the party!
Erin: Imagine high school junior Erin, on a college visit in good ole Auburn, Alabama. In an effort to spite my older sister, I was dead set on being a Tiger. Alas, Auburn gave me no scholarship money so a Rebel I became, and a Rebel I shall be forever more. For that reason, of course, always, Hotty Toddy.
