Oh, you thought you could get rid of us? It’s a bye week for the red and blue, but the grind never stops for the best collegiate American football prognosticators of this generation. We’ve brought in the B-team for this one with Griffin at the World Series and Josh recovering from an unspecified illness, but don’t fret. Along with fan-favorite Erin Killion, Assistant News Editor Maddy Quon and Arts & Culture Editor Caroline Nihill will be weighing in on some of this week’s big games. Our depth is just like the 2011 Alabama defense. Let’s get to picking, y’all.
Mississippi State at Texas A&M (-10.0) O/U 50.5
Erin: One time, we had a 20-minute debate in this office about whether Mississippi State and Texas A&M wear the same color. Does this matter here? No. Do I care who wins this game? No. Will it be State? No.
Caroline: As an expert who analyzes sports frequently, I have to say State for this one. First of all, I don’t like that A&M beat us when they were here. We should have beat A&M when we had the chance, but now that’s State’s job.
Maddy: As someone who doesn’t like losing to Texas A&M but hates State more, I’m going to have to go with A&M taking the win. Also, they both have the same school colors, which I have an issue with. The real question here is: which team is going to don the god-awful maroon?
Washington State at No. 11 Oregon (-14.0) O/U 64.5
Erin: I’m going to try to sound like Griffin here.
Oregon seems like it’s going to try to maintain its momentum against Washington State…
Okay, that’s all I’ve got.
Caroline: It should be mentioned that I played the Oregon Trail video game frequently throughout my childhood, and it was my favorite part of third grade (Thanks, Mrs. Winters!). So based off of that information alone, my expertise says that Oregon will win. No one’s getting dysentery this time, but Washington will lose.
Maddy: I’m sorry, the only Washington that matters is George Washington. I have to say Oregon is going to take this one — no thanks to the dysentery or cholera.
No. 6 Penn State (-6.5) at Michigan State O/U 43.5
Erin: When I was in junior high, I wanted to play volleyball at Penn State. I would consider myself a fan of the Nittany Lions. I’m trusting the rankings here.
Caroline: As a Pennsylvania native, I really want Penn State to lose. Also, after seeing Michigan this season, I heard from a friend’s cousin that they’re really good. Years ago, Michigan State played Slippery Rock and beat them so badly, fans began cheering for SRU. They now announce their score at the game and sell merchandise in their gift shops (amazing). Michigan State all the way.
Maddy: Well, Pennsylvania is more interesting than Michigan, in my opinion, because Pennsylvania was featured in the hit film “National Treasure.” Penn State is going to pull a Nicolas Cage, but instead of stealing the Declaration of Independence, they’re going to steal the game and take the win.
No. 8 Notre Dame (-1.0) at No. 19 Michigan O/U 52
Erin: Does anybody like Notre Dame? Also, does ANYBODY like Shea Pat— I mean Michigan? Eww. I guess Notre Dame, based on rankings.
Caroline: Based on my knowledge of the movie “Rudy,” I have to say that Notre Dame is gonna win this week. If they don’t win, Josh can expect a jersey on his desk. Also, I now am unsure if my Slippery Rock story is of Michigan State or Michigan. Doesn’t matter, Notre Dame is gonna win. RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!
Maddy: Michigan? With Shea Patterson? I don’t think so. We don’t use that kind of profanity in this house. Fighting Irish for the win.
No. 13 Wisconsin at No. 3 Ohio State (-14.5) O/U 49.5
Erin: Did y’all catch the Illinois/Wisconsin game last weekend? I-L-L. All jokes aside, the Buckeyes cover (Josh and Griffin, did I say it right?).
Caroline: I’m running out of energy, and my great knowledge of football teams are dwindling. I know that a really cool jazz band started at Ohio State, and that seems pretty legit. I love cheese, but this week I’m acknowledging my lactose intolerance and saying Ohio for the win, baby.
Maddy: Cheese country or the college that tried to trademark the word “the?” Based on that alone, I want to say Wisconsin will win, but, in reality, THE Ohio State University is going to take this one.
No. 9 Auburn at No. 2 LSU (-10.5) O/U 58.5
Erin: WAR EAGLE. That’s it.
Caroline: Both mascots are tigers, and based on basic math, neither of the teams are going to win. It’ll be a tie, and Tony the Tiger will emerge victorious. Maddy brought up my favorite tiger, and I couldn’t do him dirty like that. Frosted Flakes are winning this one.
Maddy: Okay look, purple and yellow have to be one of the ugliest combinations of colors I have ever seen with my own eyes, but even I cannot deny LSU’s football talent. Sorry Auburn, blue and orange look nice sometimes, but y’all are gonna lose.
