Football is huge in the ’Sip, and this year promises some thrillers. To prepare fans for the 2024 season, here is a ranking of how excited you should be for Ole Miss games.
12. Middle Tennessee (Sept. 7)
Living up to its name, Middle Tennessee State University finished in the middle of Conference USA with a measly 4-8 record. Heard of them? Neither have we. Have fun in the Grove because this game will be a snoozer.
11. Georgia Southern (Sept. 21)
The Eagles’ wings were clipped after a 20-point trouncing in the 2023 Myrtle Beach Bowl. The Vaught is not a cozy nest to be licking your wounds. This is going to be a massacre.
10. @ Wake Forest (Sept. 14)
A mid-September away game against the bottom-feeders of the ACC? Toot the horn on the Lane Train. (And what even is a Demon Deacon?!)
9. Furman (Aug. 31)
They finished with a 10-3 record last year … in the FCS, which is peewee-league football. This home opener might get ugly. By the way, is “Furman” not just a more delicate way of saying “Sasquatch?”
8. @ South Carolina (Oct. 5)
The Gamecock versus the Landshark. Scholars and philosophers have debated this one for centuries. We’ll keep it simple and put our money on the one familiar with land AND sea.
7. @ Arkansas (Nov. 2)
In Fayetteville, it is customary to drag the simple one-syllable word “Hogs” into an alphabetic monstrosity that somewhat resembles “HhhhhhAAAAWWwwgs.” This will be an intense environment, but the Hogs finished last in the SEC West last year, and our Rebs should take care of business.
6. @ Florida (Nov. 23)
The Gators have not been good since Tim Tebow was their quarterback. Well, maybe they were all right when they had Kyle Pitts, but since then, they have been the pits. Beware, Gators: Landsharks can swim, too.
5. Kentucky (Sept. 28)
Last time I checked, UK was a basketball school … despite making early exits from the Big Dance just about every year. Let’s face it, Wildcats: Y’all wouldn’t win the SEC in football if Eli Manning was your quarterback. These guys aren’t even the best team in Kentucky.
4. @ LSU (Oct. 12)
Let’s be real. If the Tigers couldn’t beat us last year with Heisman winner Jayden Daniels at the helm, they won’t beat us this year. Away game in Death Valley? We’ll be there. LSU? The L is in their name, people!
3. Oklahoma (Oct. 23)
OU seems to be convinced that what’s been holding them back from making the College Football playoff is their weak Big 12 Conference schedule rather than their annual embarrassments against shrimps like West Virginia and Kansas. Well, welcome to the Southeastern Conference, Oklahoma! We’ll show you how a real SEC school plays football — Sooner than later.
2. Mississippi State (Nov. 30)
Egg Bowl. In the Vaught. They hate us, my fellow Rebels, because they ain’t us. Grab a turkey leg and get out there.
1. Georgia (Nov. 9)
The battle we’ve all been waiting for: UGA, the slobbery, replaceable Bulldog, versus Juice Kiffin, the one-of-a-kind yellow lab who doesn’t just sit there and look cute — he also retrieves kickoff tees! Georgia is a consensus top-five team heading into 2024. This game is going to be electrifying.
