Not to go all Carrie Bradshaw on you, but I have some thoughts about sex. More specifically, the double standard when it comes to the sexual narrative.
I can’t count how many times I have heard a woman justify her sexual decisions, among both strangers and close friends. And in all my time speaking with men, have I ever once heard one man feel the need to explain why he chose to sleep with someone, or start a sentence with “I don’t want to sound like a whore, but —” or end a story with “was that slutty?” Of course not. Because men, unlike women, have the luxury of being able to enjoy sex without shame or judgment.
I mean, boys will be boys, right?
Wrong.
When was it decided that only men could enjoy sexual freedom while women are left feeling like they are somehow less? That women were suddenly impure the moment they decided to explore their own sexuality? I, for one, refuse to believe that we are not more progressive as a society than to continue to shame women for enjoying sex the exact same way men have been allowed — in fact, encouraged to — for centuries.
Mississippi has been behind on gender equality in all areas for quite some time, being the last to implement any form of equal pay law. The state’s conservative views have long held women back from enjoying our natural rights of comfort and equality, and these views transfer to the narrative on sex. Studies have shown that nearly all Americans have premarital sex, yet we consistently deny women the dignity of admitting it.
Allowing women to feel empowered sexually can lead to economic and political empowerment as well. There is significant evidence that being exposed to sexual harassment and having a lack of choice in their sexual relationships can impact women in every area of their lives, from personal to professional. Feeling autonomy over decisions and not receiving backlash for exercising it is vital to the furthering of women’s rights in our society.
Researchers have found in surveys among females that a woman who has had more sexual partners is viewed as less emotionally stable, competent and warm than those with fewer sexual partners. This idea is shaped from an early age through television and movies along with the often overly religious ideology of our nation. How much sex a woman does or does not choose to have has no bearing on her emotional or professional competency, nor does it somehow measure how good of a person she is. Men, on the other hand, are sometimes looked down upon for not having what others perceive as an “impressive” number of partners.
The double standard in American society surrounding sex is a constant barrier to equality. Once we acknowledge that what someone chooses to do with their own body is not a measure of who they are, we can move forward to a more equitable future. Women are just as entitled to intimacy and sexual fulfillment as men, and contrary to popular opinion, they are just as sexually motivated. Shame is an emotion best not served at all, so how about we stop with the outdated notions of purity and move toward empowering the people around us instead. Slut-shaming, after all, is so last century.
Briley Rakow is a junior integrated marketing communications major from Lemont, Ill.
