Welcome to the University of Mississippi! As you pack your shower caddy and shine your game day boots, there is one more thing you should add to your back-to-school checklist: Break up with your high school sweetheart.
Too many incoming freshmen will promise to “make it work” with their high school partners before hitting the road to Oxford. They might make plans to reunite during Thanksgiving break, or even take a meet-in-the-middle weekend trip — all just to be heartbroken by Halloween.
As a former college freshman and a self-proclaimed expert on ending relationships, my recommendation to each incoming freshman is to break up with your hometown significant other before you come to Ole Miss.
This is not because I think everyone should spend four nights a week partying on the Square, nor can I promise that your future spouse is waiting for you in EDHE 1005. Rather, I believe that college shapes you into a completely different version of yourself, and that transformation is difficult when you are being held back by your crush from junior year.
Your freshman year of college should be about joining new clubs, meeting new people and learning how to function on your own. You can gain valuable life experience and memories by breaking out of your comfort zone to join a weightlifting club, visit a tent in the Grove where you do not know anyone or make a spontaneous Cook Out run with friends at 1 a.m.
It is hard to embark on these foundational, young adult adventures when your evening schedule revolves around a three-hour FaceTime call with someone several states away.
Another reason to cut ties with your high school relationship is that in college, you will probably mature so much that it is highly unlikely that you and your partner will have the same life aspirations by the time you both graduate.
Your career plans will likely change several times. You may envision yourself living in a completely different part of the country than your significant other. While it is unfortunate to part ways, you should live your life how you want to instead of remaining tied to a long-distance partner just because you went to a few school dances together and have a 400-day Snapchat streak.
Finally, do not ever fall for the trap of not putting a label on your relationship to avoid making it “complicated.” This is a mistake that I, and many of my peers, have made. More often than not, the relationship never reemerges from the “situationship” territory and remains in a state of limbo many students are all too familiar with.
A partner who wants to keep all the benefits of a relationship without claiming the responsibilities of it is trying to keep you in their back pocket while he or she explores other options. In this case, it is never worth it to waste your time waiting on someone with commitment issues worse than Lane Kiffin.
For the stubborn ones who fail to heed my advice, will some of those high school relationships make it through college? Absolutely! Every year, a few Ole Miss graduates beat the odds, making it out with their ninth-grade chemistry partner unscathed.
But, if you are heading to Oxford this August, remember that the person you are here to become deserves just as much commitment as the one back home you are trying to hold onto. If that relationship is meant to be, four years will not change a thing. If it is not, you will be glad you gave yourself the chance to find out.
MacKenzie McDaries is a junior Arabic and sociology major from Murfreesboro, Tenn.
