I don’t want to talk about last week. We did so bad that my fellow prognosticator, Griffin Neal, has hung up the cleats. He really just didn’t show up to the office this week. That was tough, but it’s all over now. It’s week four, and we guarantee that we’ll literally never be wrong about anything ever again. We’ve brought in national college football expert Erin Killion to replace Griffin and this week’s slate is so much better than last week, so we’ll go ahead and go off one time.
No. 15 UCF (-11.5) at Pittsburgh O/U 61
Joshua: UCF has coasted to three wins over FAMU, FAU and Stanford, scoring over 40 in every game, but Pittsburgh gave No. 13 Penn State a little scare in Happy Valley. Give me Pittsburgh keeping it close. Also shout out to the Pitt uniforms. Top three threads in college football, and it ain’t two or three.
Erin: UCF’s offense has been undoubtedly impressive in their first three games, and I don’t think this weekend will be any different. Pitt (and their uniforms, sorry Josh) bores me, so give the 2018 National Champs by 30.
Oklahoma State at No. 12 Texas (-5.5) O/U 73
Joshua: Texas has given up 417.3 yards per game, bro. LOL. The Horns cover, but y’all boys are trash. I just can’t wait until my Heisman pick Jalen Hurts gets his hands on them in a few weeks. I’m kissing my teeth.
Erin: I’m pretty indifferent here. Going strictly off of the mascots, the Cowboys will lasso the Longhorns anytime. Based on that, OK State is taking this one.
No. 11 Michigan at No. 13 Wisconsin (-3.5) O/U 44.5
Joshua: I got a whole gang of Shea jokes in the holster, but we’ll keep it civil. The Badgers haven’t allowed a point this season. They’ve played both USF and Central Michigan, but still damn impressive. I’ll take Wisconsin here.
Erin: TSSSSSS. What’s that sound, you ask? That’s the Snake Patterson making his way west to Madison. I’m throwing the rankings out the window. The Badgers will come out on top, by 20 at least. Also, don’t worry, Jim. There are two IHOPs in Madison in case you get hungry.
No. 7 Notre Dame at No. 3 Georgia (-14.5) O/U 58
Joshua: Georgia is real ladies and gentlemen. That’s it. That’s the pick. (Rudy was not only offsides but also garbage.)
Erin: Woof. It just means more.
Kentucky at Mississippi State (-6.5) O/U 48.5
Joshua: Oh, it’s lit. I don’t know how good Kansas State is, and I don’t care. It’s over for the Bulldogs. I’m calling it. Did you see the student section? They’ve lost their fanbase. In all seriousness, I do think Kentucky could surprise people even with a backup quarterback. Cats by 90.
Erin: With the most successful collegiate cheerleading program in the world, Kentucky wins every time. Seriously, 24 national championships. C-A-T-S, CATS! CATS! CATS! I echo Josh here: Cats by 90.
No. 8 Auburn at No. 17 Texas A&M (-3.5) O/U 47.5
Joshua: Freshman quarterback. Road game versus a ranked opponent. Collision course. I think Bo Nix will be pretty good, but I’m taking age over beauty here. Kellen Mond has been fine this season, but besides Clemson, they ain’t played nobody. It’ll be a good game, but the Aggies take it.
Erin: As someone who almost went to Auburn with a personal vendetta against almost everybody from Texas, I’m taking the Tigers. The rankings don’t lie here. War Damn, baby.
No. 23 California at Ole Miss (-2.5) O/U 41.5
Joshua: Do they know something we don’t know? I know Cal’s offense is garbage, but that defense is something serious. I think that defensive front with Evan Weaver overwhelms the Ole Miss offensive line still trying to find its footing, and the secondary makes Matt Corral look like a freshman. Cal’s offense does enough to win a low-scoring game in Oxford.
Erin: Considering the Golden Bears’ transition to Central Time and the Mississippi climate, I don’t expect them to adjust well. The Rebels’ offense will be hot with Braylon Sanders (hopefully) making his return. The Rebs will win by a touchdown.