How many times did Griffin remind the office he went 5-0 last week? Estimate how many hours we work, triple that and you have a solid over-under. It’s like that uncle that claims to have tackled Marcus Dupree one time in high school football. Even if it’s true, who really cares? Anyway, we’re back for a solid slate of games in the top 25 in week six. It’s a super special deluxe edition for homecoming, so we’ve brought back our illustrious Copy Chief Erin Killion to tell you what you need to know. Let’s get it.
California at No. 19 Oregon (-18.0) O/U 46.5
Joshua: I’m taking Oregon here despite my unrelenting disdain for that childish uniform gimmick over there. Pull on some traditional uniforms and win some games. I mean, this is serious business. It’s quite literally the only reason you lost to Auburn in the championship. Whatever, Chase Garbers is out, but that defense with Evan Weaver is the real deal. Cal covers.
Griffin: This matchup boils down to quarterback play. Cal lost starting QB Chase Garbers to an injury last week, and Justin Herbert has hit a stride following the week 1 loss to Auburn. Autzen Stadium is one of the toughest places to play in the country, especially if you’re Devon Modster making his first start as a Sun Devil. I could never trust a team whose fans wear T-shirts and cargo shorts to City Grocery (which I very much saw two weeks ago), so give me Oregon -18.
Erin: First of all, someone is going to have to let me know what this O/U stuff means. I hear Josh saying “over/under” from across the office sometimes, but that doesn’t help me much. Since that number up there is -18, I’m going to guess that both teams will at least score over -18 points, so I’m taking the over here. Something like that.
No. 21 Oklahoma State (-10.0) at Texas Tech O/U 63
Joshua: Texas Tech is bad. Give me the Cowboys. Who cares?
Griffin: Chubba Hubbard is the real deal. Through five games he’s rushed for 938 yards and 10 touchdowns, and this week he’ll face a Texas Tech run defense that gives up 180 yards a game on the ground. Chubba runs wild, Gundy’s mullet flies in the wind and we all smile because we don’t go to school in either Stillwater or Lubbock. Oklahoma State wins by three touchdowns, and the over hits easily.
Erin: Did you know that both Oklahoma State and Texas Tech’s hand sign is a little hand gun thing? I’m not sure what the relevance is. So throw what you know! But anyway, OK State let me down last time, and I do not forgive easily. Guns up!
No. 24 Michigan State vs. No. 4 Ohio State (-20.0) O/U 50
Joshua: I’m really excited to see the Buckeye offense against the Spartan defense. Ohio State’s meltdown comes soon but it’s not this week. They steamroll Michigan State.
Griffin: Here’s a little secret: the Ohio State first half over is the safest bet in the country. Every week, regardless of opponent, time or galaxy played in, Justin Fields and Ryan Day will cover the first half spread. With that being said, Michigan State plays the most vanilla style of football in America, and I can’t stand watching it. What Ohio State has done to their first five opponents likely violates the Geneva Convention, and it doesn’t stop Saturday. Buckeyes -20 plus the over.
Erin: First of all, what kind of mascot is a buckeye? Color me unimpressed. However, as an Illinois native, I cannot help but dislike both teams here. Green is my favorite color. Go Spartans, I guess.
No. 14 Iowa at No. 19 Michigan (-3.5) O/U 47.5
Joshua: He who shall not be named and the Wolverines are so much better at home. Harbaugh’s squad is 14-2 at home since 2017, but I can’t pick against my boys. Iowa keeps it close but falls.
Griffin: *Earl Sweatshirt voice* Don’t care. I would rather watch Tuesday night MACtion than this game. Sh*a Patt*rson looked competent last week, but this Hawkeye defense is stout, and it’s tough to trust a guy who was swayed to transfer by a Levis khaki-wearing coach over a plate of substandard pancakes. I foresee a scenario where this game comes down to a last second field goal and Michigan wins outright, but the half point is key here. Hawkeyes +3.5.
Erin: TSSSSSSSSSS. I’ve said too much already.
No. 7 Auburn (-3.0) at No. 10 Florida O/U 48.5
Joshua: Oh, this is going to be a good game. Auburn is the better team but the Swamp is the Swamp for a reason. Bo Nix is a baller but we’ll see how he reacts to hiccups against a nice defense in their comfort zone. Kyle Trask has been great for the Gators since Franks went down, but Derrick Brown was in the early Heisman conversation as a defensive linemen. Give me Auburn.
Griffin: This is the Dan Mullen Icarus game; Auburn is the sun, and Florida has flown a little too close to it. The Gators have somehow convinced America that beating five very bad football teams makes them worthy of a top-10 ranking, but that ends in the Swamp on Saturday. Auburn wins by two scores and for the second straight week, Bo Nix and the Tigers are my lock of the week.
Erin: We love a good orange and blue matchup. With both teams in the top 10 this week, it’s anybody’s guess. The Tigers have not let me down yet, so War Damn again.
Vanderbilt at Ole Miss (-7.0) O/U 63.5
Joshua: I think Ole Miss simply has more talent than the Commodores. Matt Corral starts but John Rhys Plumlee is the star in this one, coming in to save the Rebels from a third quarter deficit. I’ll give a score prediction here: Vandy 12, Ole Miss 17.
Griffin: Ole Miss has soundly won its last seven homecoming matchups, beating opponents by an average of 33.5 points per contest — and that means something. I’m not sure what, but it definitely means something, perhaps… more? Irrespective of who’s taking snaps this weekend, the Rebels are more talented at nearly every position (something I’ll probably never write again) and won’t disappoint what is likely to be a full house Saturday night. Rebs -7. To the bars!
Erin: I toured Vandy my junior year of high school, and the majority of the tour guide’s talking points revolved around Harry Potter. Here I am at Ole Miss. Since we won’t be squaring off in a nice game of Quidditch this weekend, Rebs have this one all the way. Brooms won’t be included, until we sweep.
