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‘Strength to stand up and speak up’: Jose Reyes navigates life without best friend Jay Lee

Jenelle DavisbyJenelle Davis
November 30, 2022
Reading Time: 9 mins read
Jose Luis Reyes Jr. in the Grove on Nov. 30, 2022.

It had been two months since the announcement of Jimmie “Jay” Lee’s murder when Jose Luis Reyes Jr. walked off-stage at The Lyric after finishing his performance at the first Code Pink nightclub event and drag show of the school year. His body was buzzing from the adrenaline and the sour apple buzzball he drank before going on stage.

He looked around at the other performers hurriedly getting dressed and touching up their makeup and couldn’t help but feel something was missing: Jay Lee. 

On a normal Code Pink night, they would have carpooled together. That night would have been Reyes’ turn to drive and Lee’s to drink as much as he wanted, his mind at ease knowing he was safe with a friend. However, on this night, Reyes had gotten dressed without numerous and slightly irritating facetime calls from Lee asking him, “What time are you leaving?” “What time do you go on?”He drove by himself.

“Essentially Code Pink was our night where we both indulged in the liberation of drag,” Reyes said. “We’re each other’s biggest fans, so not being able to see him shake ass or having him cheer me on from the side of the stage feels so different and almost discouraging. He belongs on that stage more than anyone. He is a true entertainer.”

Reyes undressed from his drag outfit and left backstage. He maneuvered his way through the crowd heading toward the front of the building where he saw Lee. It wasn’t him really, but the picture of him that was being used across various media outlets with the words “Ole Miss Student Murdered” above it. 

Braylyn Johnson, a friend of his and Jay’s, stood by the picture as she shared who Lee was with patrons and accepted donations for the Lee family. Reyes said she had been a huge help throughout this ordeal and kept him grounded.

“Our relationship has definitely gotten stronger,” Johnson said. “We were mutual friends through Jay Lee, and this experience has only made us closer I think. It’s super sad how tragic events can bring people together.”

Reyes grew up in rural Potts Camp, Miss., where he graduated with honors from Potts Camp Attendance Center. He is a first-generation college student with three younger siblings, a father who works in construction and a mom who is a household manager. He spent his days in Potts Camp drawing and writing random poems, usually during math class, for his friend to read when they would pass each other in between classes. 

While he was a shy and introverted child growing up, Reyes was kind and friendly to everyone no matter how they treated him.

“He’s such a kind-hearted person,” Reyes’ mother Ruth Maximino said. “He loves his family and friends so much and would do anything in his power to make sure he’s there for them.”

During his time in Potts Camp, Reyes witnessed how everyone around him treated the only openly gay person in school. This caused him to keep his identity a secret from not only his friends but also his family. While he did endure some form of bullying in high school for “acting” gay, he never fully came out, and he had a girlfriend during middle school.

“I felt like I had to hide myself. I grew up in a Mexican household with traditional beliefs,” Reyes said. “Not only that but I was raised in a very country, hick town around very racist and homophobic people.”

When it was time for seniors to apply for college, Reyes chose the University of Mississippi for one reason: to start fresh and truly be his authentic self.

“Everyone’s environment affects them and their perception of themselves. Because of the atmosphere I was surrounded by, it caused me to grow a thick shell,” Reyes said. “A shell of protection and fear. Fear of being scrutinized and frowned upon if I were to do anything out of the traditional norms in that environment.”

Compared to Potts Camp, Oxford seemed like New York.

“I was a little worried in the beginning about him moving to Oxford,” Maximono said. “I wanted him to go to a community college at first because I knew it would be overwhelming going from a small school with only 200 students where everyone knew each other to 20,000 students.”

When he got to Ole Miss he was nervous and excited. He was about to step into this new version of himself he had been envisioning since eighth grade. However, things had gone differently than planned. During his freshman year, the Coronavirus outbreak caused the university to move classes online.

When students were allowed to return to campus, new rules and regulations made it difficult for Reyes to meet more people. He fell back into his old reclusive ways and mainly talked to his two childhood friends who came to Ole Miss. He went home every weekend because he missed his family and would only leave his dorm for food and to see his friends.

His college experience was not panning out like he thought it would. Then, he met Jay Lee. 

Lee was a community assistant in Reyes’ freshman dorm. Their first encounter was at an Ariana Grande concert in Memphis. They discovered they shared a love for the pop singer and makeup. It wasn’t until sophomore year that they found out they were both social work majors.

“We connected instantly, and of course he asked me to take his picture,” Reyes said. “It’s been a while since he’s had me do that, I miss being his little photographer.”

Over the next two years, they spent a lot of time together during late-night drives, spontaneous road trips, their first college football game, pool-hopping around Oxford and attending his (Reyes’) first Oxford Pride. 

Jose Luis Reyes Jr. and Jay Lee. Photo courtesy: Jenelle Davis.

One of his fondest memories is Lee going on stage during Oxford Pride and performing in front of everyone. Reyes remembered being surprised and a little uneasy at his friend’s sudden impulsiveness, but seeing the way Lee fearlessly strutted down the runway and enticed the crowd, Jose couldn’t help but cheer him on.

“He is so carefree and confident,” Reyes said. “He definitely inspires me and is my motivation to put myself out there.”

When Reyes received the news that Lee was missing on Friday, July 8, he was at home visiting his family for the weekend. Lee’s sister messaged him asking if he had heard from Lee because she and her family were unable to reach him. Lee regularly spoke with his family, so it was out of the ordinary for him to not answer their calls.

“After hearing what she knew, I immediately realized this was completely unlike Jay Lee,” Reyes said. “My calls were failing and my messages were not going through. It was at this moment that I made the decision to leave my hometown and drive to Oxford to check on him personally.”

Reyes, along with his parents, made the 45-minute drive to Campus Walk, a student-based housing apartment, where Lee was residing for the summer. Upon arriving, he saw that Lee’s car was not outside. He proceeded to knock on the door only to be met with the sound of Lee’s dog, Lexi, barking.

“He doesn’t usually leave Lexi alone, so I knew something was up,” Reyes said. 

By Sunday, it had been officially announced that Lee was missing by the police and a search was being conducted. They had interrogated numerous people on his whereabouts, with Reyes being a frequent contact. Throughout the month, Reyes would receive random calls and visits from the police. Wanting to help as much as possible, he complied and did everything they said even if that meant turning off his phone after being asked to take a ride with them. 

The City of Oxford Police Department has handled cases similar to Lee’s, but there seemed to have been a disconnect when it came to Lee’s case, potentially due to the fact he was a feminine presenting male, according to Reyes.

“The police have done many efforts in handling Jay Lee’s disappearance, however, it has become more evident to me that because Jay Lee is an openly queer Black man, he may not be receiving the same amount of support and justice as someone who may have more favorable features,” Reyes said. “Not only that, but the police have also proven their lack of knowledge and empathy regarding the LGBTQIA+ community. I hope moving forward they are able to educate and involve themselves more.”

The minute it was announced Lee was missing, Reyes knew something awful had happened to his friend but wanted to remain optimistic. However, on July 22, the police announced that not only was Lee murdered but that someone had been arrested for it.

“When the news came out that someone was arrested for Jay Lee’s murder, I was alone in my apartment. I had notifications on for the police, so I was notified as soon as the press article was released,” Reyes said. “I was in complete shock. I couldn’t formulate any words or any thoughts. It was a total blackout moment.”

It was an out-of-body experience for Reyes. His phone was going off non-stop with people calling and messaging, but all he could do was sit in confusion and disbelief at the horrific news about his friend. He felt a number of emotions: sadness, frustration and most of all, anger. 

At that moment, something flipped in Reyes. While he was sad and mourning his friend’s death, he knew he had to defend Lee since he was not here to do it for himself. He knew that doing this could potentially put a target on his back for major scrutiny and homophobia, but he knew that if it was the other way around Lee would be front and center loudly demanding justice for him.

“I have huge respect for how he’s handled this situation and been a leader during uncertain times,” Johnson said. “Jose is more outgoing, loud and outspoken. He’s reminded me so much of Jay Lee since he has been gone.”

Reyes, along with Lee’s friends, allies and members of the LGBTQ+ community, formed a group called ‘JusticeforJayLee’ in which they keep Lee’s name alive and speak about issues the community faces. JusticeforJayLee has continued to show love and support for Lee and his family.

“I believe this made Jose stronger because he’s more aware of his reality now,” said Taylor Cummings, a social work major and a friend of Reyes’ for five years. “Jose is a different person, I will say, but he is being positive and doing his best not to let this eat him alive.”

Reyes has kept his promise to advocate for Lee by boldly speaking out about the injustices the community has experienced. He has helped organize benefits that raised money for Lee’s family, helped make a space in the Grove during tailgates for members of the community to feel welcome, attended social advocacy workshops and spoken at various LGBTQ+ events in Jackson, Lee’s hometown.

“There are many adjectives to describe Jose’s unique personality but the one I will choose is carefree,” said Anthony Marion Bryson II, who has been a friend of Reyes for 10 years. “Watching him become someone so willing to show every fact of themselves no matter the scrutiny or objectification that may come along with it has been an amazing experience.”

One of the things Reyes has tried to keep alive, one that he and Lee enjoyed together, is performing at Code Pink. There was a second when he considered stopping his performances at the event. Lee was the reason he started drag, and it was difficult not having his No. 1 fan and inspiration there.

“It’s difficult to perform without him, but I do try to utilize my mobility and confidence as an attempt to encourage others, the same way Jay Lee did for me,” Reyes said. “I use it as a platform to bring light to queer issues and try to honor Jay Lee whenever I have the opportunity to do so.”

Reyes is pursuing a degree in social work in his last year at the University of Mississippi.  Having to deal with grief while also staying academically motivated and being socially present for his other friends has been difficult. He now has to navigate his way through a city he no longer sees as a safe haven for people like him. But because of Lee and who he was, Reyes has been able to persevere through this challenging time.

“There’s a saying, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,’ and I think that this is what is happening to Jose,” Johnson said. “I think that as he’s processing a huge deal of grief, he’s also using his strength to stand up and speak up during one of the biggest challenges of his life.”

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