That time of year just passed us by again — love is still in the air, and new crushes-turned-relationships are blooming all around. Before jumping headfirst into a commitment, however, here are a few red, yellow and green flags to keep in mind.
Red flags
Red flags are traits in a partner that could be potentially dangerous — both physically and mentally. Like approaching a red light at a crowded intersection, you should probably hit the brakes before accelerating any further.
Inconsistency
One moment, they seem affectionate and caring, but seconds later, they are giving you the silent treatment. That’s an emotional rollercoaster you need to disembark. Constant confusion erodes emotional trust, and mutual assurance is foundational to lasting love.
Dry begging
Whether they are posting depressing quotes on social media for attention or guilting you into doing their chores, you should run. You cannot fix someone else’s insecurity. Take a step back before you feel forced to.
Control and anger issues
Just because a person does not show physical violence in the beginning does not mean they will not later. If they are prone to bouts of punching walls and yelling, they are showing you their true colors. Take notes and be safe.
Pushes boundaries
A person who deserves your time and effort will always respect your boundaries, which are designed to keep you safe. Someone who tries to challenge that clearly has no respect for you or your well-being. You do not owe a partner anything that you do not want to explicitly offer.
Yellow flags
While yellow flags may not be breakup-worthy, you should definitely keep an eye on them. These are also dependent on individual situations, so proceed with caution.
Does not open up often
Romantic partners should feel safe enough to be completely honest with one another. If you feel like your partner holds in things that bother them, consider recommending that they see a counselor to learn healthy communication tactics.
Overly close with a particular parent
We all know the infamous mama’s boys — grown men who are still coddled by overbearing mothers. Often, they will expect their partners to act like their mothers. While not always the case, be ready to face a “monster-in-law” in your future.
Unemployment
Let me start by saying this is not always a bad thing: Some students are unable to balance the intense demands of work and school. However, the lines start to blur when someone has multiple opportunities to get a job and needs or wants one, but they refuse to apply. Instead, they play video games for hours on end. How do you expect them to take care of you in the future if they cannot take care of themselves now?
Perpetually late
A partner should be mindful of your time. I do recommend giving some grace here if they provide valid reasons, but if a lack of punctuality is a regular occurrence, you should probably have a conversation.
Green flags
Green light means go! These flags are what you should look for in a good partner. Someone with these qualities could be the person you are looking for.
Schedules regular dates
Someone who still puts effort into treating you and taking you out (even after you have started dating) is showing a good sign that they actively care about you.
Ability to listen
No relationship is perfect. Everyone will have a disagreement at some point. A green flag in a partner is when they listen to you and can effectively communicate a solution that is agreeable for both parties.
Self-awareness
Identifying when you are wrong and correcting your actions is a major green flag and a sign of a mature adult. Someone who acts with moral intentions and understands when they stray from the right path can better navigate the difficulties of a relationship.
Supportive
No matter how big or small an achievement is, your partner should celebrate you. When you are having a rough time, they should be there to encourage you. A partner should never make you feel bad for attempting and/or achieving something.
Raleigh Taylor is a sophomore journalism major from Shubuta, Miss.
